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Sexual Disorientation

Sexual Disorientation is a weekly podcast featuring clinical psychologist and Professor Of Psychology Dr. Ramani Durvasula. Each episode Dr. Ramani welcomes an interesting guest to talk sex, relationships, and every taboo topic in between.
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Jun 11, 2018

Dr Ramani just joined Megyn Kelly to talk about cheating on the Today Show. This is the much more in-depth guide, with co-host and adult film star Silvia Saige.

Silvia opens up about dating in the porn industry. Dr Ramani dives into who's better at cheating: Men or women? They look at the thin line between polyamory and infidelity, and try to get at the heart of what leads someone to stray. Is it ever justified or healthy?

Plus, they examine the new frontiers of infidelity: Dr Ramani has seen cheating skyrocket among people over 55, while Silvia has been starring in interactive VR porn that's getting closer and closer to mimicking the real thing. Wild stuff.

Dr Ramani Durvasula (@doctorramani) is a licensed clinical psychologist and Professor of Psychology.

Silvia Saige (@silviasaigexxx, @silviasaigesex) is an adult film actress and standup comedian.

Write us with your questions: sexualdisorientation@gmail.com

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Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

Follow Bail Bonds Media on Instagram for behind-the-scenes looks and other great content.

May 21, 2018

Dr Ramani gave an interview to Harper's Bazaar about MILFs, which is Silvia Saige's porn niche! Together, they look at the origin, social pressure and psychology of The Hot Mom.

Dr Ramani just started noticing how much the mom community at her daughter's private school resembles "some post-modern suburban sex fantasy." Silvia reveals the strange definitions and even darker storylines behind MILF porn. They break down the dangers of looking at both womanhood and parenthood as a job, a competition, or a brand.

Then, we debut a new segment: WHAT HAPPENS NEXT, looking at the REAL ever-after behind fairytale romances. First up: PRETTY WOMAN.

May 7, 2018

Dr Ramani and Silvia Saige look at the root psychology of Prom Season, to parse out how teens and parents can embrace the ritual without cracking under societal pressure.

Silvia marvels at how quickly the landscape of prom-posals, over priced dresses, and Instagram-worthy celebration has exploded over the past 20 years. Dr Ramani finds parallels between the traditions of prom and Indian arranged marriages. And we revisit a time in the recent past when forced marriage was all the rage on TV.

It's all a symptom of the Fairy Tale Relationship Mentality, where you let the tail wag the dog. Listen to find out what that means.

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Dr Ramani Durvasula (@doctorramani) is a licensed clinical psychologist and Professor of Psychology.

Silvia Saige (@silviasaigexxx, @silviasaigesex) is an adult film actress and standup comedian.

--

Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

Follow Bail Bonds Media on Instagram for behind-the-scenes looks and other great content.

Apr 30, 2018

Dr Ramani and Silvia Saige dismantle the dream of fairy tale love! Not because it doesn't exist, but because those who look for it get the WORST possible outcomes. We explain why.

Part of our ongoing look at HOW TO PICK A PARTNER. We break down the dream of "fairy tale romance" from all angles – the excuses it causes us to make for our partners and ourselves, the ways it creates damaging codependencies, and the unhelpful judgments it convinces us to make about potential lovers. Plus, where does this dream come from, and what can we do to change it?

If you enjoyed our GAY 101 episode, please write in to let us know what other "Intro Courses" you want! Blowjobs, narcissism, polyamory, periods, tantra – no topic is too taboo, too basic or too complicated for Sexual Disorientation. Write the show, ALWAYS ANONYMOUS: sexualdisorientation@gmail.com

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Dr Ramani Durvasula (@doctorramani) is a licensed clinical psychologist and Professor of Psychology.

Silvia Saige (@silviasaigexxx, @silviasaigesex) is an adult film actress and standup comedian.

--

Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

Follow Bail Bonds Media on Instagram for behind-the-scenes looks and other great content.

Apr 16, 2018

Dr Ramani and Silvia Saige welcome "guest professors": 2-time Gay Porn Performer of the Year, Wesley Woods, and the co-hosts of Gay vs Straight Bitches, Rachel Paulson and Lindsey McKeon!

This episode is everything you ever wanted to know about homosexuality but were afraid to ask. Whether you're woke AF or a traditionalist evangelical, we have answers to your questions, like:

  • "How do lesbians 'have sex'?"
  • "Are gay men always either a 'top' or a 'bottom'?"
  • "What does 'heteronormative' mean?"
  • "Do gay relationships always have a masculine partner and a feminine partner?"
  • "What about the view that homosexuality is 'unnatural'?"
  • "Does sexuality affect your view on monogamy?"
  • "Can gay people have non-sexual friendships with the same sex?"
  • "What 'makes" someone gay? Can you be gay without having gay sex, or can you be straight while having gay sex?"
  • "Do straight people watch gay porn?"

And tons more! Because the only step to understanding is open and honest communication. Write us with ALWAYS-anonymous suggestions for future 101 segments: sexualdisorientation@gmail.com

Listen to this week's Gay vs Straight Bitches - Episode 21 to hear Dr Ramani, Silvia and Wesley join the Bitches for the even raunchier side of this conversation! Two great tastes that taste great together!

Follow @gayvstraightbitchespodcast, @rupaulson, @mylindseymckeon and @thewesleywoods on Instagram to keep up with our guests!

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Dr Ramani Durvasula (@doctorramani) is a licensed clinical psychologist and Professor of Psychology.

Silvia Saige (@silviasaigexxx, @silviasaigesex) is an adult film actress and standup comedian.

Together, they know pretty much everything there is to know about sex, love and relationships. Please send us your always-anonymous questions at: sexualdisorientation@gmail.com

--

Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

Follow Bail Bonds Media on Instagram for behind-the-scenes looks and other great content.

Apr 2, 2018

Dr Ramani recaps SxSW, where a capacity crowd piled in to hear her talk about narcissism. Speaking of, Ramani and co-host Silvia Saige dissect Donald Trump, Stormy Daniels, and the public's response.

This scandal is the perfect prism to examine how specific men and society at large turn women into objects. Ramani worries the national conversation may exacerbate the problem, not solve it. They both acknowledge and try to unpack the complicated morality and values issues tied up in Trump/Stormy, regardless of political bent. And there's an even more frustrating talk to be had about the place and purpose of porn.

Plus, Ramani explains the concept of Love Bombing as she cracks into her Narcissist Handbook.

Finally, a listener suggestion leads Dr Ramani and Silvia to announce Sexual Disorientation's new occasional series: DISORIENTATION 101. Answering all the most callous, offensive questions about taboo and simple topics alike. First up: HOMOSEXUALITY 101. Stay tuned!

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JOIN DR RAMANI FOR AN INTIMATE LIVE Q & A ON NARCISSISM: April 13 at 7pm in Los Angeles, at 1454 25th Street, Floor 1, Suite A, Santa Monica, CA 90404.

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Dr Ramani Durvasula (@doctorramani) is a licensed clinical psychologist and Professor of Psychology.

Silvia Saige (@silviasaigexxx, @silviasaigesex) is an adult film actress and standup comedian.

Together, they know pretty much everything there is to know about sex, love and relationships. Please send us your always-anonymous questions at: sexualdisorientation@gmail.com

--

Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

Follow Bail Bonds Media on Instagram for behind-the-scenes looks and other great content.

Mar 9, 2018

This special Friday release is a sneak peek at Dr Ramani's South By Southwest lecture: Staying Sane and Healthy In A Narcissistic World. Catch her LIVE at SXSW Saturday and Sunday, March 10 and 11!

Ramani and Silvia tackle DATING APPS. Can we really make love efficient? Dr Ramani explains why #SLOWlove might be the greatest love of all.

Silvia defends dating app users, and even Ramani must admit that some people get it. The ladies break down how to date online in a healthy way, arriving at the concept of "Love As An Antidote." Listen and hopefully change your perspective.

--

Dr Ramani Durvasula (@doctorramani) is a licensed clinical psychologist and Professor of Psychology.

Silvia Saige (@silviasaigexxx, @silviasaigesex) is an adult film actress and standup comedian.

Together, they know pretty much everything there is to know about sex, love and relationships. Please send us your always-anonymous questions at: sexualdisorientation@gmail.com

--

Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

Follow Bail Bonds Media on Instagram for behind-the-scenes looks and other great content.

Mar 5, 2018

Dr Ramani and Silvia Saige explore the "sexual doldrums" between Valentine's Day and summer. Then, they answer listener questions about dating transgender partners and lesbians getting pregnant.

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Send always-anonymous questions and comments to sexualdisorientation@gmail.com 

This episode: Ramani thinks the age of "personal branding" makes it easy to get lost in an "existential fog of selfies." Silvia knows firsthand how to draw a line between the public you and the private you. Ramani insists the world NEEDS her and Silvia to teach a class called "How To Watch Porn."

Then, a listener wonders if attraction to transgenders means something about their own sexuality. Another listener asks if it's ill-advised for a lesbian to conceive a child "the old-fashioned way" with a willing man.

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SEE DR RAMANI AT SOUTH X SOUTHWEST 2018! Austin's annual music and arts fest welcomes Dr Ramani March 10 and 11. Click here for her full schedule, including a book signing and an extended lecture called Staying Sane And Healthy In A Narcissistic World.

Tune into Sexual Disorientation next week for a preview of the lecture!

Follow Bail Bonds Media on Instagram for behind-the-scenes looks and other great content.

Feb 12, 2018

Dr Ramani and Silvia Saige discover a common thread between Valentine's Day pressure, the Aziz Ansari scandal and terrible parenting: A lack of transparency. But can making your intentions clear go too far?

Silvia laughs at what a 100% transparent date might look like, but Dr Ramani doesn't think the alternative is much better. Is it better to be a transparently selfish asshole upfront, or to try to mold your partner over time? Is there a third way?

We all have "cereal commercial" notions of what a great family looks and feels like, but do the notions say anything about what you really want? Ramani says to get specific with yourself! If your specifics defy social trends, or your partner's specifics, what then? Dr Ramani and Silvia have the answer.

A challenge for our listeners: What happened on your last Valentine's Day? And what does your answer say about you? Listen to find out!

Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app! 

Send anonymous questions to sexualdisorientation@gmail.com 

Read more at http://sexualdisorientation.com/#C1x5aY2GZCvqb2AI.99

Follow Bail Bonds Media on Instagram for behind-the-scenes looks and other great content.

Feb 6, 2018

Dr Ramani is back! And she's just in time to prepare our listeners for the minefield of Valentine's Day. As far as she's concerned, it's the worst day of the year for love.

Hear tons of helpful advice for ducking the FOMO, dealing with pressure and expectations, and how to read the signals to have a happy, healthy Valentine's Day – whether you're in a relationship or flying solo!

Help us start a V-Day movement! Like Dr. Ramani says in the episode, go out to your local drugstore, buy the cheapest packet of elementary school Valentines you can find, and send them out to anyone who could use the love. Use the hashtag #DrugstoreValentine, and remember: Keep it simple, keep it cheap, keep it AUTHENTIC.

Co-host Silvia Sage returns next week to talk New Year's growth, Aziz Ansari, and sex in 2018!

Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app! 

Send anonymous questions to sexualdisorientation@gmail.com 

Read more at http://sexualdisorientation.com/#C1x5aY2GZCvqb2AI.99

Follow Bail Bonds Media on Instagram for behind-the-scenes looks and other great content.

Dec 18, 2017

Dr. Ramani and Silvia Saige discuss the four month holiday period, from Thanksgiving until Valentine’s Day, that can be hell for both people in relationships and singles. 

Silvia recounts the time she was back at her dad’s house for Christmas as a single woman, and her vibrator went off in her luggage as she was bringing it in. Another trip back home lead to her hearing her father and his girlfriend having loud sex. 

Dr. Ramani weighs in on people trying to live up to expectations, and how that gets magnified during the holidays, which in turn creates tension for partners. Expectation is the relationship killer.  

To remedy all of this sadness they decide to come up with the 12 Days of Sex for the Holidays, in hopes of bringing back the joy, love, fun, and lots of sex as the ultimate gift for you and your partner. 

Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app! 

Send anonymous questions to sexualdisorientation@gmail.com 


Read more at http://sexualdisorientation.com/#C1x5aY2GZCvqb2AI.99

Nov 14, 2017

Dr. Ramani and Silvia Saige discuss Louis CK and his exhibitionist masturbation issue. They dig deeper into using power for sex of any type and if there's a way to solve this problem. Dr. Ramani brings up the sexual spectrum in America, ranging from Calvanistic to outrageously deviant, and why we're at extremes. Silvia laments the fact that we don't teach our kids about sex in a healthy way.

They ask the questions--

Did these abusive men in the news not get the girl when they were younger?

Why is masturbation considered shameful?

Does porn give people permission to do what they see in it?

Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app! 

Send anonymous questions to sexualdisorientation@gmail.com 



Oct 30, 2017

Dr. Ramani and Silvia Saige sound off on Kevin Spacey and wonder how many men are scared that they're next. They discuss whether anyone will change or just curtail behavior over fear of getting caught. And can teaching our children better values and behavior make the world better in the long run?

Then they dissect an article suggesting that cheating is good for relationships and break down monogamy, honesty, and if you should admit cheating to your significant other. Exploring pair mating vs open relationships and ultimately deciding that what matters most for humans is our capability to love. 

Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app! 

Send anonymous questions to sexualdisorientation@gmail.com 

Oct 23, 2017

Dr. Ramani and Silvia Saige continue discussing the Harvey Weinstein controversy with the #MeToo hashtag. They explore why it's so hard for women to come forward when they've been harassed or assaulted and how there's a lot of shame in being a whistleblower. Also, how there's always the potential for quiet blowback even though you've done the right thing. 

Plus, Woody Allen's idiot comments, Mayim Bailik pissing people off online, and how harassment even exists in porn. 

Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app! 

Send anonymous questions to sexualdisorientation@gmail.com 

Oct 16, 2017

Dr. Ramani is joined once again by comedian and pornstar Siliva Saige. They discuss the topic on everyone's minds right now, the Harvey Weinstein scandal. From Harvey, to Bill Cosby, to Anthony Weiner, they go hard on narcissistic predators and the people that enable them. Plus, they both take issue with so called "sex addiction" and people that use it as an excuse for harassment and cheating.

Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app! 

Send anonymous questions to sexualdisorientation@gmail.com 

Oct 2, 2017

Dr. Ramani welcomes back guest host, pornstar & comedian Silvia Saige.

They talk about the Anthony Weiner conviction which leads them down the road of how tech interacts with sex. From filtering what you do sexually online to how passionate love is unsustainable. Plus, Silvia opens up about having ongoing "relationships" with fans that go to far and how porn starts to feel real to people. 

Plus, the question everyone wants answered--is it better to engage online or pick up a hooker on the corner?

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app! 

Send anonymous questions to sexualdisorientation@gmail.com 

Sep 25, 2017

Dr. Ramani Durvasula and guest host Sasha Knox talk to Mare Simone, a sex surrogate and tantric sex educator. 

Mare provides sex coaching for individuals and couples. She is offering a comp consultation to our listeners. Visit MareSimone.com for more info

The group discusses sex issues including shame and guilt. Mutual masturbation vs. engaged sex. How does sex surrogacy compare to prostitution? Is tantra better than just banging it out? And much much more. 

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app! 

Send anonymous questions to sexualdisorientation@gmail.com 

Sep 5, 2017

Dr. Ramani welcomes porn actress and comedian Silvia Saige who went from a corporate job, to standup comedy, then added porn to her resume. She went through a tumultuous time in her life then turned to comedy to start on a new path. After a legal situation left her needing money, she started doing porn and hasn't looked back since.

Silvia and Ramani talk about porn's objectification of women, dating when you're in the adult film business, making it in standup comedy, and much more.

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app! 

Send anonymous questions to sexualdisorientation@gmail.com 

Aug 15, 2017

Dr. Ramani is joined by psychic Chris Medina who teaches her "Gay 101". In a candid and humorous way he explains, from his perspective, tops and bottoms, sex with straight men, sex with women, ass play, and why he will never go down on a woman---again!

If you ever wanted to know the intimate details of gay sex then this is your episode. 

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on iTunes HERE and listen through Apple Podcasts or any podcast app!

LIKE us on Facebook HERE. 

And send us any questions anonymously to sexualdisorientation@gmail.com if you want it answered on the show!

 



Aug 7, 2017

Dr. Ramani is joined by pornstar, fetishist, and sex enthusiast Sasha Knox. They discuss sex cults, younger women with older men, and paying for everything with your vagina.

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on iTunes HERE and listen through Apple Podcasts or any podcast app!

LIKE us on Facebook HERE. 

And send us any questions anonymously to sexualdisorientation@gmail.com if you want it answered on the show!

 



Jul 31, 2017

Dr. Ramani is joined by pornstar, fetishist, and sex enthusiast Sasha Knox. They discuss normal vs. "porn" penis size, being sex positive vs. feeling guilt, and why porn is no longer a quick buck. 

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on iTunes HERE and listen through Apple Podcasts or any podcast app!

LIKE us on Facebook HERE. 

And send us any questions anonymously to sexualdisorientation@gmail.com if you want it answered on the show!

 

Jul 24, 2017

Dr. Ramani talks to her producer Frank about a book she read called "You Should Have Known" by Jean Hanff Korelitz. They discuss how, when a relationship goes bad it shouldn't come as a surprise because you knew it would from the beginning. How we delude ourselves into staying in something that's never going to last. 

 

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on iTunes HERE and listen through Apple Podcasts or any podcast app!

LIKE us on Facebook HERE. 

And send us any questions anonymously to sexualdisorientation@gmail.com if you want it answered on the show!



Jul 17, 2017

Dr. Ramani sits down with pornstar and fetish lifestyler Sasha Knox to discuss foot fetishes, watersports, dominants and submissives, S&M, role playing, and more. They dissect the nuances in the fetish world, the responsibility of fetish based relationships, and the inaccurate depiction of movies like 50 Shades Of Gray. 

You can find Sasha on social media at:

Twitter: @RealSashaKnox

Instagram: SashaKnox

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on iTunes HERE and listen through Apple Podcasts or any podcast app!

LIKE us on Facebook HERE. 

And send us any questions anonymously to sexualdisorientation@gmail.com if you want it answered on the show!



Jul 10, 2017

Dr. Ramani and standup comic Sam Grody discuss a listener question about significant others with baggage. 

Question: Is it acceptable to be with a person who has had multiple sex partners and keeps in touch with all of most of them as friends?

Find out from both a clinical and a comedic perspective what it means to date someone who texts with people they've banged!

And if YOU have questions you can email us anonymously at sexualdisorientation@gmail.com to have them answered on the show!

Also, if you have suggestions for great guests or topics drop us a line.

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on iTunes HERE.

LIKE us on Facebook HERE. 

 

 



Feb 9, 2017

Dr. Ramani Durvasula talks to her producer, Frank, about cheating in the modern age. How does technology contribute to cheating? What defines cheating if you're not actually having sex with the other person. How does cheating manifest itself today?

 

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on iTunes HERE.

LIKE us on Facebook HERE. 

And send us any questions anonymously to sexualdisorientation@gmail.com if you want it answered on the show!

 

 

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