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Sexual Disorientation

Sexual Disorientation is a weekly podcast featuring clinical psychologist and Professor of Psychology Dr. Ramani Durvasula, and her co-host Silvia Saige, an adult film star and standup comedian. Each episode, Dr. Ramani and Silvia tackle listener questions and topics from the news about sex, love, relationships, narcissism and every taboo topic in between.
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Nov 12, 2018

Dr Ramani and Producer Bill tackle one of our toughest (and most common) listener questions: What comes AFTER a trainwreck relationship?

We start with an e-mail from a listener who's one year separated from a narcissistic husband. Dr Ramani calls it as eloquent an explanation as she's ever heard of how narcissists break you down.

Then, Ramani explores all sides of "the aftermath" – regaining your independence, reconciling with family and friends, making new connections, and ultimately getting back into the dating world.

Finally, a listener whose parents let her down when she was sexually abused is trying, 13 years later, to reconcile her need to forgive with the hurt and anger she still feels. Dr Ramani thinks forgiveness may be overrated.

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Write the show, ALWAYS ANONYMOUS, with your questions on sex, love, relationships and everything in between: sexualdisorientation@gmail.com

Dr Ramani Durvasula (@doctorramani) is a licensed clinical psychologist, a Professor of Psychology, and the nation's leading expert on narcissism.

Silvia Saige (@silviasaigexxx, @silviasaigesex) is an adult film actress and standup comedian.

Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

Follow Bail Bonds Media on Instagram for behind-the-scenes looks and other great content.

Nov 5, 2018

Dr Ramani and Silvia Saige list 'best practices' for a listener whose relationship is turning long-distance. Another e-mailer wonders why girls don't discuss porn.

Ramani and Producer Bill recap their first live event, a town-hall-style Q & A on narcissism that proved rewarding and challenging.

Then, talk of long-distance love touches on the obstacle of being in a relationship that "doesn't look like your friends' relationships." Plus, why does proximity play a role in monogamy?

Finally, talk of women watching porn evolves into a 'state of the union' on sex ed in America, and you may not believe what some college students do not know.

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Write the show, ALWAYS ANONYMOUS, with your questions on sex, love, relationships and everything in between: sexualdisorientation@gmail.com

Dr Ramani Durvasula (@doctorramani) is a licensed clinical psychologist, a Professor of Psychology, and the nation's leading expert on narcissism.

Silvia Saige (@silviasaigexxx, @silviasaigesex) is an adult film actress and standup comedian.

Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

Follow Bail Bonds Media on Instagram for behind-the-scenes looks and other great content.

Oct 22, 2018

Dr Ramani and Silvia Saige counsel a listener whose father wants a young foreign bride, and another who's considering life with a self-acknowledged narcissist.

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ATTEND A LIVE Q & A SEMINAR WITH DR RAMANI: "SURVIVING NARCISSISM"! Friday, October 27, at Buckman Studio in Burbank, CA. CLICK HERE for details and tickets, or visit www.doctor-ramani.com.

***

Also this episode: A listener struggles with an abusive mother who turned her brother against her. Dr Ramani explains how the only way to extinguish a dysfunctional fire is to starve it of oxygen.

Silvia wonders about deeper-seated issues behind the father pursuing mail-order brides. That listener also raises the question of managing relationships with a person on the autism spectrum.

Let us know how YOU have dealt with a narcissist in the family, or romance with an autistic partner. Your story can help others. How have you coped or adjusted? Write us, ALWAYS ANONYMOUS, at: sexualdisorientation@gmail.com

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Dr Ramani Durvasula (@doctorramani) is a licensed clinical psychologist, a Professor of Psychology, and the nation's leading expert on narcissism.

Silvia Saige (@silviasaigexxx, @silviasaigesex) is an adult film actress and standup comedian.

Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

Follow Bail Bonds Media on Instagram for behind-the-scenes looks and other great content.

Oct 15, 2018

Dr Ramani is out of town, so Silvia and Producer Bill catch up on past questioners, and respond to new e-mails on teen sex symbols and male sexual shame.

Silvia talks about the surprises and not-so-surprises she's encountered on this show. Her explanation for why she feels she and Dr Ramani are a good fit may surprise YOU.

Then, a listener has concerns about "teen idols" like Justin Bieber and Shawn Mendes, leading Silvia and Bill to parse out the difference between media messaging, how those messages are received, and how to prepare kids to receive them.

Finally, a listener has a stirring endorsement for straight male strap-on play, and one of our favorite former questioners checks in with an update about her progress in leaving a controlling, narcissistic boyfriend.

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Write the show, ALWAYS ANONYMOUS: sexualdisorientation@gmail.com

Dr Ramani Durvasula (@doctorramani) is a licensed clinical psychologist, a Professor of Psychology, and the nation's leading expert on narcissism.

Silvia Saige (@silviasaigexxx, @silviasaigesex) is an adult film actress and standup comedian.

Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

Follow Bail Bonds Media on Instagram for behind-the-scenes looks and other great content.

Oct 1, 2018

Dr Ramani and Silvia Saige explore the sexual politics behind the meaning of "boys being boys." What are the implications of that viewpoint?

Ramani looks at the inherent power imbalances of sex, and how they don't excuse unwanted advances. Silvia chafes at normalizing boys' aggressive behavior, because that means victimizing girls is also "normal."

An expert on childhood abuse (and a former graduate student of Dr Ramani's) reveals the three factors that lead sexual abusers to perpetrate in the first place.

Then, a listener asks tough questions about whether child abusers both underage and adults – can be rehabilitated. Our expert weighs in, and Ramani explains how intra-family abuse can create "a vast storehouse of lies."

An episode full of tough but important topics.

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Dr Ramani Durvasula (@doctorramani) is a licensed clinical psychologist, a Professor of Psychology, and the nation's leading expert on narcissism.

Silvia Saige (@silviasaigexxx, @silviasaigesex) is an adult film actress and standup comedian.

Write the show, ALWAYS ANONYMOUS: sexualdisorientation@gmail.com

Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

Follow Bail Bonds Media on Instagram for behind-the-scenes looks and other great content.

Sep 24, 2018

Dr Ramani and Silvia Saige look at the factors behind our varying sexual appetites.

A comprehensive new study reveals that a pharmaceutical cure for "female impotence" does not exist. Dr Ramani explains the results. She and Silvia offer solutions for building a healthy sex drive, which leads to discussions of "sexual peak," sex toys, shame, and the differences between male and female arousal.

A listener finds herself in a relationship where the difference in their sex drives sabotages her happiness. Ramani and Silvia wonder: Is she uninterested in all sexual activity, sex with any partner, or sex with her specific partner?

Then, a virgin male listener struggles with his low desire for sex vs. his intense desire to masturbate to porn, raising again the spectre of dehumanized sex and incels. Hear Silvia talk about what it means to be a sexual commodity in an over-sexed age.

IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING with what you feel is a low sex drive, ALWAYS consult your physician first. They can refer you to appropriate specialists, be they therapists or internists, and will screen out more serious physical conditions that might be affecting your libido.

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Dr Ramani Durvasula (@doctorramani) is a licensed clinical psychologist, a Professor of Psychology, and the nation's leading expert on narcissism.

Silvia Saige (@silviasaigexxx, @silviasaigesex) is an adult film actress and standup comedian.

Write the show, ALWAYS ANONYMOUS: sexualdisorientation@gmail.com

Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

Follow Bail Bonds Media on Instagram for behind-the-scenes looks and other great content.

Sep 17, 2018

Dr Ramani and Silvia Saige advise listeners in opposite scenarios - one desperate to leave, one hoping to stay. So how are their situations almost identical?

The first listener lost his first real relationship to his partner’s grief and alcoholism. He wants to know how their love can survive the recovery process. Silvia points out some red flags he may be ignoring, and Ramani unpacks the complicated dynamic between alcoholism, grief, and deeper dysfunction.

Then, a listener who has stayed with a borderline abusive partner for financial support analyzes her own situation beautifully. Ramani and Silvia talk about how to build the strength, resources and plan to actually leave, even when family and friends may not be there for you.

It’s a look at narcissistic partners from both sides of the equation - wanting to stay and wanting to go.

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Dr Ramani Durvasula (@doctorramani) is a licensed clinical psychologist, a Professor of Psychology, and the nation's leading expert on narcissism.

Silvia Saige (@silviasaigexxx, @silviasaigesex) is an adult film actress and standup comedian.

Write the show, ALWAYS ANONYMOUS: sexualdisorientation@gmail.com

Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

Follow Bail Bonds Media on Instagram for behind-the-scenes looks and other great content.

Sep 10, 2018

Dr Ramani and Silvia Saige are off this week, but new listeners might appreciate this look back on their first episode together.

THIS EPISODE WAS RELEASED ALMOST EXACTLY A YEAR AGO, ON SEPTEMBER 5, 2017. Learn more about Silvia and hear the ladies' on-air chemistry spark for the first time.

If you're new to the podcast, Sexual Disorientation was originally conceived to have rotating guests sit with Dr Ramani on an episode-by-episode basis. But we liked comedian/adult film star Silvia Saige so much, we asked her to stay! We know you'll agree it's proved to be an exceptional decision.

We encourage all listeners to write us, ALWAYS ANONYMOUS, with questions, comments and opinions at: sexualdisorientation@gmail.com

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Dr Ramani Durvasula (@doctorramani) is a licensed clinical psychologist, a Professor of Psychology, and the nation's leading expert on narcissism.

Silvia Saige (@silviasaigexxx, @silviasaigesex) is an adult film actress and standup comedian.

Write the show, ALWAYS ANONYMOUS: sexualdisorientation@gmail.com

Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

Follow Bail Bonds Media on Instagram for behind-the-scenes looks and other great content.

Sep 3, 2018

A listener has spent 7 years trying to get over a breakup. Dr Ramani and Silvia Saige talk loneliness – Is it normal? Harmful? How do you break the cycle?

Let us know how YOU have dealt with heartbreak or loneliness. Your story can help others. What held you back? What thoughts or actions helped you move forward, if any? Write us, ALWAYS ANONYMOUS, at: sexualdisorientation@gmail.com 

Dr Ramani defines the boundary between grieving a relationship's end and experiencing dangerous depression. She explores what depression actually is, and how it's treated, especially for those who think therapy can't help.

Silvia and Producer Bill share their own anecdotes about finding the right therapist.

Finally, Ramani explains how the fear of being alone can insidiously erode your health and well-being. But rejecting companionship is no solution either...

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Dr Ramani Durvasula (@doctorramani) is a licensed clinical psychologist and Professor of Psychology.

Silvia Saige (@silviasaigexxx, @silviasaigesex) is an adult film actress and standup comedian.

Write the show, ALWAYS ANONYMOUS: sexualdisorientation@gmail.com

Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

Follow Bail Bonds Media on Instagram for behind-the-scenes looks and other great content.

Aug 20, 2018

Dr Ramani and Silvia Saige answer your questions about men's shifting place in society – like whether or not to think of them as poop-flinging primates.

Alpha male dominance is seen across many mammal species. One listener questions how men (and women!) can ignore these deep seated instincts. Ramani and Silvia incisively break down why nature provides zero justification for alpha behavior – in fact, nature may actively demonstrate its failings, as Dr. Robert Sapolsky discovered.

But first, a listener struggles with her expectations for quality communication from her partner, and another woman wonders whether her lover's social media obsession means he's a narcissist.

A perfect podcast for the "old-fashioned alpha male" in your life – even if that's you.

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Dr Ramani Durvasula (@doctorramani) is a licensed clinical psychologist and Professor of Psychology.

Silvia Saige (@silviasaigexxx, @silviasaigesex) is an adult film actress and standup comedian.

Write the show, ALWAYS ANONYMOUS: sexualdisorientation@gmail.com

Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

Follow Bail Bonds Media on Instagram for behind-the-scenes looks and other great content.

Aug 13, 2018

Dr Ramani and Silvia Saige respond to listener feedback from our 'Childhood Abuse' show (ep. 29), which turns into a deep dive on narcissism.

First, though, Frasier's crotch ink is in the news, and Ramani and Silvia can't find a POV from which it looks good – literally or metaphorically.

Then, listeners posit a link between childhood trauma and adult narcissism. Can they be co-incident? And if so, is there a middle ground between compassion and protecting yourself? One letter raises the complicated spectre of "communal narcissism," which insulates abusive homes from public scrutiny.

Finally, a listener wants to know how the children of narcissists can best avoid relationships with narcissists. Ramani drops a bomb: "What you call 'boredom' may just be 'health'."

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Dr Ramani Durvasula (@doctorramani) is a licensed clinical psychologist and Professor of Psychology.

Silvia Saige (@silviasaigexxx, @silviasaigesex) is an adult film actress and standup comedian.

Write the show, ALWAYS ANONYMOUS: sexualdisorientation@gmail.com

Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

Follow Bail Bonds Media on Instagram for behind-the-scenes looks and other great content.

Aug 6, 2018

Chrissy Teigen inspires Dr Ramani and Silvia Saige to praise a bit of jealousy. But they CAN’T abide the guilt women suffer for not having kids.

Silvia admits she’s quick to be jealous! Ramani explains how jealousy is unavoidable, but negative reactions to it need not be. Silvia shares the hard-won wisdom that there are never 3 positive reactions in a threesome.

Then, Dr Ramani wants to talk about Jennifer Aniston. Specifically the recurring scrutiny Jen faces for not "settling down" and having kids. Ramani makes some personal confessions about the hardships of motherhood.

Silvia frames the debate as Jennifer Aniston vs. Oprah. Two successful, independent, famous women: Why is one scrutinized for never having kids, while the other is not? There's a ton to unpack here.

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Dr Ramani Durvasula (@doctorramani) is a licensed clinical psychologist and Professor of Psychology.

Silvia Saige (@silviasaigexxx, @silviasaigesex) is an adult film actress and standup comedian.

Write the show, ALWAYS ANONYMOUS: sexualdisorientation@gmail.com

Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

Follow Bail Bonds Media on Instagram for behind-the-scenes looks and other great content.

Jul 30, 2018

Silvia shares a very personal story. Dr Ramani helps unpack it, and looks at how survivors, their loved ones, and even perpetrators can best process childhood trauma.

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NOTE TO LISTENERS: No matter the severity or the statute of limitations, if you believe a minor has been assaulted, please contact your local DEPARTMENT OF SOCIAL SERVICES. Google "Social Services," "DCFS" or "Department Child and Family Services," or get in touch with a local doctor, teacher or police officer, all of whom are legally required to file such a report.

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Tragic circumstances forced Silvia to reveal a childhood secret to her mother, and neither is sure how to handle it. Ramani talks about the complicated guilt parents feel when a child suffers, and also whether the survivor is obligated to speak up.

Dr Ramani and Silvia give wide-ranging advice about the importance of sharing traumatic experiences, what parents can do to make kids feel safe in a worst-case scenario, and how parents can watch for warning signs that their child is being abused OR is becoming an ABUSER.

It's a heavy topic but well worth your time.

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Dr Ramani Durvasula (@doctorramani) is a licensed clinical psychologist and Professor of Psychology.

Silvia Saige (@silviasaigexxx, @silviasaigesex) is an adult film actress and standup comedian.

Write the show, ALWAYS ANONYMOUS: sexualdisorientation@gmail.com

Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

Follow Bail Bonds Media on Instagram for behind-the-scenes looks and other great content.

Jul 23, 2018

Dr Ramani and Silvia Saige explore "the chase," and the growing narrative that men wooing women are damned if they do and damned if they don't.

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HAVE YOU EVER HAD AN EXPERIENCE WITH A SUITOR WHO WOULD NOT GIVE UP? Someone who felt wronged when you turned them down? Someone who pushed "the chase" too far? Or maybe it turned out they were actually "the one"? We want to discuss your story. Write us, ALWAYS ANONYMOUS, at: sexualdisorientation@gmail.com

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In a wide-ranging discussion, Ramani finds parallels between the "alpha" men at the top of society and the self-professed "beta" men on the bottom. Might they be on the same side of a spectrum? If so, what's on the other side?

Silvia has first-hand experience with how incels attack, and how "giving someone a shot" because you're trying to be nice can backfire.

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Dr Ramani Durvasula (@doctorramani) is a licensed clinical psychologist and Professor of Psychology.

Silvia Saige (@silviasaigexxx, @silviasaigesex) is an adult film actress and standup comedian.

 

Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

Follow Bail Bonds Media on Instagram for behind-the-scenes looks and other great content.

Jul 16, 2018

Dr Ramani and Silvia Saige discuss the recent boom in celebrity shotgun engagements. Then, they unpack the public reaction to a Bachelorette contestant's "virginity outing."

Ramani finds hope in the way fans are processing these sprints to the altar. She highlights the inherent gap between a celebrity marriage and a normal marriage. Silvia talks about the small town culture of using engagement to "claim" a person, which reflects backward ideas about marriage that persist across cultures.

Then, should "what's wrong with this guy?" really be the question when an attractive, well-balanced man in his mid-20s is revealed as a virgin?

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If virginity has you vexed, or you're dying to hear funny stories that remind you of your own awkward first time, check out the Bail Bonds Media podcast V-CARDED. Hosted by the lovely Erin Darling, every episode is a hilarious deep dive interview about when, why and how the guest "swiped their V-Card."

Dr Ramani Durvasula (@doctorramani) is a licensed clinical psychologist and Professor of Psychology.

Silvia Saige (@silviasaigexxx, @silviasaigesex) is an adult film actress and standup comedian.

Write us with your questions: sexualdisorientation@gmail.com

--

Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

Follow Bail Bonds Media on Instagram for behind-the-scenes looks and other great content.

Jul 9, 2018

Silvia Saige will soon be the first woman featured on Men.com, a gay male porn site. She and Dr. Ramani brace for a backlash. Then, they offer do's and don'ts for summer romance!

Silvia explains how bi scenes with gay performers are still taboo in the porn business, raising bigger questions about the line between "sexual identity" and "who you have sex with." They consider the political undertones of straight sexuality encroaching on a safe space for gay men, even as Dr. Ramani struggles with the de-legitimization of bisexual identity across all of culture.

Then, Ramani explains why summer is traditionally the "dry season" for relationship therapists, but that doesn't mean everyone avoids relationship drama. We break down how to have a successful fling

Dr Ramani Durvasula (@doctorramani) is a licensed clinical psychologist and Professor of Psychology.

Silvia Saige (@silviasaigexxx, @silviasaigesex) is an adult film actress and standup comedian.

Write us with your questions: sexualdisorientation@gmail.com

--

Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

Follow Bail Bonds Media on Instagram for behind-the-scenes looks and other great content.

Jun 11, 2018

Dr Ramani just joined Megyn Kelly to talk about cheating on the Today Show. This is the much more in-depth guide, with co-host and adult film star Silvia Saige.

Silvia opens up about dating in the porn industry. Dr Ramani dives into who's better at cheating: Men or women? They look at the thin line between polyamory and infidelity, and try to get at the heart of what leads someone to stray. Is it ever justified or healthy?

Plus, they examine the new frontiers of infidelity: Dr Ramani has seen cheating skyrocket among people over 55, while Silvia has been starring in interactive VR porn that's getting closer and closer to mimicking the real thing. Wild stuff.

Dr Ramani Durvasula (@doctorramani) is a licensed clinical psychologist and Professor of Psychology.

Silvia Saige (@silviasaigexxx, @silviasaigesex) is an adult film actress and standup comedian.

Write us with your questions: sexualdisorientation@gmail.com

--

Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

Follow Bail Bonds Media on Instagram for behind-the-scenes looks and other great content.

May 21, 2018

Dr Ramani gave an interview to Harper's Bazaar about MILFs, which is Silvia Saige's porn niche! Together, they look at the origin, social pressure and psychology of The Hot Mom.

Dr Ramani just started noticing how much the mom community at her daughter's private school resembles "some post-modern suburban sex fantasy." Silvia reveals the strange definitions and even darker storylines behind MILF porn. They break down the dangers of looking at both womanhood and parenthood as a job, a competition, or a brand.

Then, we debut a new segment: WHAT HAPPENS NEXT, looking at the REAL ever-after behind fairytale romances. First up: PRETTY WOMAN.

May 7, 2018

Dr Ramani and Silvia Saige look at the root psychology of Prom Season, to parse out how teens and parents can embrace the ritual without cracking under societal pressure.

Silvia marvels at how quickly the landscape of prom-posals, over priced dresses, and Instagram-worthy celebration has exploded over the past 20 years. Dr Ramani finds parallels between the traditions of prom and Indian arranged marriages. And we revisit a time in the recent past when forced marriage was all the rage on TV.

It's all a symptom of the Fairy Tale Relationship Mentality, where you let the tail wag the dog. Listen to find out what that means.

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Dr Ramani Durvasula (@doctorramani) is a licensed clinical psychologist and Professor of Psychology.

Silvia Saige (@silviasaigexxx, @silviasaigesex) is an adult film actress and standup comedian.

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Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

Follow Bail Bonds Media on Instagram for behind-the-scenes looks and other great content.

Apr 30, 2018

Dr Ramani and Silvia Saige dismantle the dream of fairy tale love! Not because it doesn't exist, but because those who look for it get the WORST possible outcomes. We explain why.

Part of our ongoing look at HOW TO PICK A PARTNER. We break down the dream of "fairy tale romance" from all angles – the excuses it causes us to make for our partners and ourselves, the ways it creates damaging codependencies, and the unhelpful judgments it convinces us to make about potential lovers. Plus, where does this dream come from, and what can we do to change it?

If you enjoyed our GAY 101 episode, please write in to let us know what other "Intro Courses" you want! Blowjobs, narcissism, polyamory, periods, tantra – no topic is too taboo, too basic or too complicated for Sexual Disorientation. Write the show, ALWAYS ANONYMOUS: sexualdisorientation@gmail.com

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Dr Ramani Durvasula (@doctorramani) is a licensed clinical psychologist and Professor of Psychology.

Silvia Saige (@silviasaigexxx, @silviasaigesex) is an adult film actress and standup comedian.

--

Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

Follow Bail Bonds Media on Instagram for behind-the-scenes looks and other great content.

Apr 16, 2018

Dr Ramani and Silvia Saige welcome "guest professors": 2-time Gay Porn Performer of the Year, Wesley Woods, and the co-hosts of Gay vs Straight Bitches, Rachel Paulson and Lindsey McKeon!

This episode is everything you ever wanted to know about homosexuality but were afraid to ask. Whether you're woke AF or a traditionalist evangelical, we have answers to your questions, like:

  • "How do lesbians 'have sex'?"
  • "Are gay men always either a 'top' or a 'bottom'?"
  • "What does 'heteronormative' mean?"
  • "Do gay relationships always have a masculine partner and a feminine partner?"
  • "What about the view that homosexuality is 'unnatural'?"
  • "Does sexuality affect your view on monogamy?"
  • "Can gay people have non-sexual friendships with the same sex?"
  • "What 'makes" someone gay? Can you be gay without having gay sex, or can you be straight while having gay sex?"
  • "Do straight people watch gay porn?"

And tons more! Because the only step to understanding is open and honest communication. Write us with ALWAYS-anonymous suggestions for future 101 segments: sexualdisorientation@gmail.com

Listen to this week's Gay vs Straight Bitches - Episode 21 to hear Dr Ramani, Silvia and Wesley join the Bitches for the even raunchier side of this conversation! Two great tastes that taste great together!

Follow @gayvstraightbitchespodcast, @rupaulson, @mylindseymckeon and @thewesleywoods on Instagram to keep up with our guests!

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Dr Ramani Durvasula (@doctorramani) is a licensed clinical psychologist and Professor of Psychology.

Silvia Saige (@silviasaigexxx, @silviasaigesex) is an adult film actress and standup comedian.

Together, they know pretty much everything there is to know about sex, love and relationships. Please send us your always-anonymous questions at: sexualdisorientation@gmail.com

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Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

Follow Bail Bonds Media on Instagram for behind-the-scenes looks and other great content.

Apr 2, 2018

Dr Ramani recaps SxSW, where a capacity crowd piled in to hear her talk about narcissism. Speaking of, Ramani and co-host Silvia Saige dissect Donald Trump, Stormy Daniels, and the public's response.

This scandal is the perfect prism to examine how specific men and society at large turn women into objects. Ramani worries the national conversation may exacerbate the problem, not solve it. They both acknowledge and try to unpack the complicated morality and values issues tied up in Trump/Stormy, regardless of political bent. And there's an even more frustrating talk to be had about the place and purpose of porn.

Plus, Ramani explains the concept of Love Bombing as she cracks into her Narcissist Handbook.

Finally, a listener suggestion leads Dr Ramani and Silvia to announce Sexual Disorientation's new occasional series: DISORIENTATION 101. Answering all the most callous, offensive questions about taboo and simple topics alike. First up: HOMOSEXUALITY 101. Stay tuned!

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JOIN DR RAMANI FOR AN INTIMATE LIVE Q & A ON NARCISSISM: April 13 at 7pm in Los Angeles, at 1454 25th Street, Floor 1, Suite A, Santa Monica, CA 90404.

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Dr Ramani Durvasula (@doctorramani) is a licensed clinical psychologist and Professor of Psychology.

Silvia Saige (@silviasaigexxx, @silviasaigesex) is an adult film actress and standup comedian.

Together, they know pretty much everything there is to know about sex, love and relationships. Please send us your always-anonymous questions at: sexualdisorientation@gmail.com

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Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

Follow Bail Bonds Media on Instagram for behind-the-scenes looks and other great content.

Mar 9, 2018

This special Friday release is a sneak peek at Dr Ramani's South By Southwest lecture: Staying Sane and Healthy In A Narcissistic World. Catch her LIVE at SXSW Saturday and Sunday, March 10 and 11!

Ramani and Silvia tackle DATING APPS. Can we really make love efficient? Dr Ramani explains why #SLOWlove might be the greatest love of all.

Silvia defends dating app users, and even Ramani must admit that some people get it. The ladies break down how to date online in a healthy way, arriving at the concept of "Love As An Antidote." Listen and hopefully change your perspective.

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Dr Ramani Durvasula (@doctorramani) is a licensed clinical psychologist and Professor of Psychology.

Silvia Saige (@silviasaigexxx, @silviasaigesex) is an adult film actress and standup comedian.

Together, they know pretty much everything there is to know about sex, love and relationships. Please send us your always-anonymous questions at: sexualdisorientation@gmail.com

--

Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app!

Follow Bail Bonds Media on Instagram for behind-the-scenes looks and other great content.

Mar 5, 2018

Dr Ramani and Silvia Saige explore the "sexual doldrums" between Valentine's Day and summer. Then, they answer listener questions about dating transgender partners and lesbians getting pregnant.

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Send always-anonymous questions and comments to sexualdisorientation@gmail.com 

This episode: Ramani thinks the age of "personal branding" makes it easy to get lost in an "existential fog of selfies." Silvia knows firsthand how to draw a line between the public you and the private you. Ramani insists the world NEEDS her and Silvia to teach a class called "How To Watch Porn."

Then, a listener wonders if attraction to transgenders means something about their own sexuality. Another listener asks if it's ill-advised for a lesbian to conceive a child "the old-fashioned way" with a willing man.

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SEE DR RAMANI AT SOUTH X SOUTHWEST 2018! Austin's annual music and arts fest welcomes Dr Ramani March 10 and 11. Click here for her full schedule, including a book signing and an extended lecture called Staying Sane And Healthy In A Narcissistic World.

Tune into Sexual Disorientation next week for a preview of the lecture!

Follow Bail Bonds Media on Instagram for behind-the-scenes looks and other great content.

Feb 12, 2018

Dr Ramani and Silvia Saige discover a common thread between Valentine's Day pressure, the Aziz Ansari scandal and terrible parenting: A lack of transparency. But can making your intentions clear go too far?

Silvia laughs at what a 100% transparent date might look like, but Dr Ramani doesn't think the alternative is much better. Is it better to be a transparently selfish asshole upfront, or to try to mold your partner over time? Is there a third way?

We all have "cereal commercial" notions of what a great family looks and feels like, but do the notions say anything about what you really want? Ramani says to get specific with yourself! If your specifics defy social trends, or your partner's specifics, what then? Dr Ramani and Silvia have the answer.

A challenge for our listeners: What happened on your last Valentine's Day? And what does your answer say about you? Listen to find out!

Get Dr. Ramani's book Should I Stay Or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist now in paperback!

Please subscribe to Sexual Disorientation on Apple Podcasts , Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app! 

Send anonymous questions to sexualdisorientation@gmail.com 

Read more at http://sexualdisorientation.com/#C1x5aY2GZCvqb2AI.99

Follow Bail Bonds Media on Instagram for behind-the-scenes looks and other great content.

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